


Dream and Reality

by MaryByU



Series: One-Shots [1]
Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Childhood Friends, Cute Jeon Jungkook, Depressed Min Yoongi | Suga, Dreamsharing, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Growing Up Together, Jeon Jungkook & Park Jimin are Best Friends, M/M, Min Yoongi | Suga Is Whipped, No Smut, One Shot, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Soft Min Yoongi | Suga, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:20:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24558310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaryByU/pseuds/MaryByU
Summary: The first time Yoongi meet Jungkook, it's in dreams. He's 5 and lost as to why he see this baby every time he fall asleep.With time he get used to him, grow up with him and fall in love with the person who would never leave his side.Until one day, he think that maybe Jungkook doesn't exist and was just his imagination.But Jungkook prove him wrong.COMPLETED
Relationships: Jeon Jungkook/Min Yoongi | Suga
Series: One-Shots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1775170
Comments: 10
Kudos: 87





	1. Chapter 1




	2. Yoongi

Yoongi had always dreamed of him.

He didn’t remember a day where the boy, the teenager and then the man wasn’t present in his dreams. He was always there, like waiting for him to com, always a presence next to him even in his worst nightmares.

In the beginning, Yoongi didn’t know who the small boy was, he always saw him like a part of his dreams, like a guardian that would be there no matter what waiting Yoongi in the other side of the reality, he would be always there even when the boy couldn’t talk yet, had grew up looking at a small baby growing up with him and becoming an adult.

The baby that in the beginning was showing himself as “Koo” was a cute one, round pink cheeks and doe eyes looking curiously at him, and Yoongi loved him. He had tried later, waking up to draw him, he was just 5 and had tried to describe the baby of his dreams to his parents, exclaiming loudly how cute he was. Saying out loud how he wanted a baby brother “cute like Koo” and his parents would just smile ruffling his hair and cooing at him for his own cuteness.

But time passed, and Koo grow up too, he was 3 years old, could stand on his own feet and Yoongi loved when he would try to run away giggling, with time Yoongi had learned him new words, proud that the younger would used them with a pretty glint in the eyes, smiling widely whenever Yoongi would clap when Koo would say them right.

“Koo is soo cute” he had said, small hands taking the younger cheeks, they were under the shadow of a three in the middle of a meadow that was so big enough that he couldn’t see the end.

“No Koo, Kookie ! Appa say !”

That’s how Koo become Kookie, the baby grew cuter, bunny teeth showing when he would smile or giggle, hand clapping, and soft hair falling on his eyes, and all this time Yoongi never stop talking about him to his parents.

In the beginning, they weren’t so worried about his imaginary friend, many kids had one, creating it because of their loneliness or for fun, it was common and not hard to get rid of growing up, but he was 9 now, and this Kookie wasn’t leaving.

They had clean the attic after years, finding cases of drawing and painting where his imaginary friend was everywhere, in differents ages and forms and cloths, and that, seeing how much Yoongi imagination was starting to become too much makes them worried.

They talk to his doctor when he was in the waiting room, who said it would pass with time and friends in school.

But it didn’t.

Kookie had become his best friend, the one and only who would pass most of his time with, the younger was 4 now, could jump and run and do everything Yoongi could, that was why in their dream they would always play together, laughing and running around like every friend, Kookie would always hug him when he would see him every night, giggling and happy to be reunited again.

It had become a habit to be together, the two always waiting for the night to come to meet each other. Sometime even sleeping before time to just see the other.

It become so real, that when he was 11, Yoongi thought to have seen Kookie in the station when his family was coming back from Busan to Daegu after Chuseok, so real that he stopped in the way, eyes wide looking at the place where he had seen him, whispering “Kookie is here, I saw him!”

And it was the last drop before his parents takes the matters in hand, the moment they come back to Daegu, his father take him to a hospital, making him done test under machines bigger than him, making him lie down and sleep after taking pills that didn't makes him dream with doctors around him.

He started to take medicine after that, some white and blue pills that he would takes before sleep, because of who, his dream become empty. He would wake up in the morning with the sensation to haven’t slept at all when hours had already passed.

When Yoongi wouldn’t dream, his night would be full of nightmares caused because of the stressed his parents was giving him by saying again and again that his Kookie, his dreams weren’t normal, that maybe Yoongi needed a therapy.

The stress was so much, that he never saw Kookie again after the start of his treatment, making him sad, and empty and terrified that maybe his parents were true, and something was indeed wrong with him.

After that, for months, his dream would be the same, empty, lonely and lost.

Waiting for Kookie to come visit him at least, and waking up crying when Kookie would be there. Until one night, he find him, sad Kookie siting on the grass playing with his fingers with a pout, the dream what a little strange, he couldn’t really see his best friend, his vison was troubled and his sense seems weaker, but he call him, he call for him in a whisper that the younger heard, head snapping up and looking at him wide eyes.

He was 13 when they meet again, crying silently while holding the younger who cry on his shoulder asking ask why he wasn’t there yesterday or the day before, and the weeks and months and years before.

Answers that Yoongi didn’t have.

“Kookie would you promise me something?” he whispers instead, feeling himself sleep again, like he would wake up soon.

“Anything” the younger said, tears in his doe eyes that Yoongi didn’t like at all, wiping them with a warm smile.

“Don’t tell anyone about me, about those dream we have, no one okay ? It’s our secret.”

“Why ?” He could see the hesitation in Kookie expression, how he didn’t understand why, and it was normal, the younger was just 8, not understanding yet what was outside of their dream.

“Because adults are dangerous”

Kookie listen, nodding with a pout and giving him candies he had been given for being a good boy that day and for the first time Yoongi was happy waking up.


	3. Chapter 3

In dream Yoongi is happy, at least when he can see Kookie, but in real life, his parents make him takes medicine after medicine, and it continue for years.

During all the process, he doesn’t make friend, he can’t when all the time he feels drowsy and tired and sometime on his worst way, sick enough that he cries, curled on himself in his bed.

The only person who stay by his side except his parents is Taehyung, his neighbour, younger than him with a cute smile and bright eyes, he loves to come bother him whenever he’s bored, and Yoongi don’t mind.

Because he's alone and would take anyone by his side just to makes it better.

Growing up, he had talk to him about Kookie, had tell about how he would meet the boy in his dream and Taehyung had always been eager to meet him too, asking him how he looked like, who he was, if he was real too, but when he ask him to meet Kookie, Yoongi didn’t know what to answer, he didn’t even know if it was possible which had makes Taehyung frown.

“You’re a liar hyung.” It had been his first betrayal but not the last.

When he started his medication, people had started to talk, the whole neighborhood know how “the Min boy is sick” making every kid aware to not come closer to him, and Taehyung was among them.

But he couldn’t really blame him, Taehyung was too young to understand that sometimes adult lie too, it was enough for Yoongi that at least he had reach for him by calls days later, at least there was still someone other than Kookie that care for him.

And he was grateful.

They’re not in the same school, so Yoongi passed his days alone in his class, eating on his desk with his eyes lost on the windows.

There was many moment where he just wanted to cry out t the other kids that he wasn’t sick, that his dream weren’t just his imagination, that Kookie was real, but in the end there was no one to listen, no one to believed him, not even Taehyung. Because he had started to not believed himself too.

That’s why he didn’t talk to anyone about his dream ever, he didn’t even have to. After last time, it had been 5 months since Kookie hadn’t come in dreams, and that was okay, it was just proving himself how his parents were right.

But that doesn’t mean he wasn’t missing him.

One night when he was 15, he decide to lesser his dose of his pills, that his parents would always check if he was taking them, it had become a habit to take it, not even questioning of why he had to.

But even that night, Kookie didn’t appear in his dream.

He had written in a dairy every single one of his dreams, wanting to remember him, having a trace of their meeting, something to hold into for when he would miss him. But he missed him all the time.

When he started high school, he stopped taking his pills completely, putting them in his mouth in front of the school doctor before spiting it to his way out of the infirmary, and slowly he sees him again.

Not every day, but Kookie appeared once or twice a month after that, it was just his presence, his warmness, but it was enough to make his days and nights better.

In the beginning it was just moments where Kookie would hug him, sobbing when Yoongi would call his name, and Yoongi would just hug him trying to comfort him trying to not cry himself, but slowly it get longer, Kookie had grew up too, he was 10 now, they hadn’t celebrate the younger birthday properly in the last years and it had been Yoongi biggest regret, that’s why the moment months later, he could finally see his face, he celebrate it, with tears and hug and fear that it wasn’t real.

Years pass in this incertitude, years were they enjoy every second of each other when they could, their meetings are still little, sometimes Yoongi don’t see him for months, other for weeks, but when he see him, he can’t help but stay close.

They talk a lot.

They’re not the little boys of before anymore, they matured, Jungkook faster than Yoongi would have wanted, and he wanted to know why but Jungkook never talk about himself, always asking him questions and drinking Yoongi every words with doe eyes looking at him, and Yoongi... can’t help but fall for the younger in the trap that is Jungkook, again and again.

He doesn’t know when Kookie become Jungkook, but he did, the boy had grow up, become an amazing boy, beautiful with a heart of gold, a boy Yoongi had fallen in love long ago.

At some point all that was left in him about Jungkook were memories and small vision here and there, he started to see him three or four time a year, sometimes there wasn’t even a face, but he could see how he was growing, how the boy’s body was becoming the one of a man, how his voice was deepening, he would be always sad in those dream, trying to understand if Kookie was even real or really his imagination. He had read somewhere that loneliness would makes you imagine things, and the idea that he might be going crazy scared him.

He was 25 when they celebrate Jungkook 20 th birthday, it was amazing to think that they had passed twenty years together, years of secret, but years he had loved.

He had stopped taking the meds long ago but they seems to live an effect in his system. For the doctors, he was “clean” since 4 years, but he knew that something was wrong with him.

But that was okay, he still had Jungkook with him.

The day of the younger birthday, sited on the place where they had first meet, an apple tree, Jungkook asked, eyes lost in the horizon.

“Are we real? I mean, in this world are we real?”

And Yoongi didn’t know. Maybe, their reality was starting when the dream stopped, maybe their life was a dream, and this was real. He had lost the ability to think correctly since years ago. Had stopped asking question that would just prove he wasn't normal.

“I prefer here, you’re here” he said instead, and it makes Jungkook smile, a bunny smile that would always makes Yoongi heart beat faster and makes him feel warmer.

“Me too, I hope we can meet in the other life too.”

And that Yoongi didn’t want to.

With years, he had built a life of a loner, he didn’t have new friend, Taehyung had stayed even during Uni, and Yoongi had keep it that way.

He was studying psychology, will graduate soon and had moved in a small apartment he was renting with a job aside, he didn’t have an amazing life. Certainly not one he was proud of.

It was a life of someone lost and sad, someone who was sick in his head and that no one wanted close.

It was hard, listening to his parents disappointed voice whenever he would call him, listening to them when he knew they didn’t even want to talk to him.

He never talked about it to Jungkook, the younger didn’t need to know that his hyung was a failure, so he just smiles, because it was a dream after all and in dream everything was allowed.

“I hope so.”

That night for the first time after years, he finds real tears on his face when he woke up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment only in the first chapter, thank you !!


	4. Chapter 4

They learn to live and love, learn to move forward in life. To grew up in adult that could smile and share and be a part of their long-lost childhood.

That’s why when one night, weeks later he woke up suddenly after a nightmare, breathing hard and lost, trying to gain his surrounding and search for the one he wanted to see, Yoongi couldn’t help but think, that maybe he hadn’t grow up yet, that maybe he was still this 10 years old boy, when his parents didn’t know anything about his dream and would still look at him with fondness and love in their eyes.

He hoped at least to be 10 again.

Because the nightmare felt too real that night, he could still see Jungkook laying down on the grass, bitten up with lips cut open and bleeding, and a sad smile on his face. He wasn’t looking at him, eyes on the sky that was covered in a strange purple.

They had meet again after weeks, but it was like he wasn’t supposed to see this, wasn’t supposed to even know Jungkook was here because when he called his name the dream stopped immediately, like he was throw out of it the moment he open his mouth. He wakes up trembling in Taehyung arm who was trying to wake him up since a moment after hearing his whimpers.

But Yoongi didn't care, his mind focused on what he had saw.

Jungkook had become a man, with defined muscle working out a lot even in dreams, loving to show him his progress with the same innocent smile on his face, becoming harder to avoid his feeling for him.

But seeing him hurt like that, helpless with no one to take care of his wounds, he feels himself losing himself, crying loudly and looking everywhere, like searching for Jungkook to show up.

Tears were flowing down his eyes, Taehyung there, trying to calm him down, listening to all of his pleading whispers “where is Jungkookie?” that was unheard or... ignored.

Fort he first time that night he saw something in his friend eyes, something similar to what his parents had show him the days he moved out.

Fear, disappointment, sadness. He saw it so clearly that everything in his mind cleared in a second, forgetting about Jungkook, about the wounds and the nightmare, cutting the panics he was going through with a sharp knife and waking him up from his trance.

“Jungkookie is not here hyung, it’s in your head, he doesn’t exist.” and those words, true, tough and maybe a little harsh, makes him realized how much he had lost with his craziness.

How much he will lose more if he continues to fall.

Because it wasn’t real, it had never been.

He was starting to believe them, his parent, his friends, the doctors. Maybe he was really seeing things, maybe Jungkook really was his imagination, or the ghost of a long-lost soul hunting him for whatever reasons.

He wasn’t real.

He wasn’t.

Slowly, he tried to sleep less and less, staying up at night to work more and more, even taking a night shift to avoid sleeping and just taking small napes between classes or lunch. He had started to fall behind in classes and making mistakes after mistake at work, but he wasn’t planning to sleep correctly ever again.

He didn’t want to fall in his craziness ever again.

He didn’t have a best friend anymore, neither a safe place. Jungkook had been that, him and his dreams since years, but he didn’t have it anymore. And it was making him closed off, but he didn't care, he couldn't stay attached to something that was killing him inside everyday.

He didn’t sleep after that, at least not a real sleep that would takes hours, afraid to see him and fall in a universe that didn’t exist again. He couldn’t, just couldn’t do it and hope again and again to meet Jungkook more. His life had been a mess because of his wild imagination and he had lost what was supposed to be important for him, his family, friends had slowly drift away from him thinking he was crazy, and now even Taehyung seems to be less happy around him.

So he make sure to not fall for it again, he couldn’t lost the only person in his life that had stayed even after everything.

Exhaustion caught him quickly, making him want to sleep after classes, he was in the library when he just put his head on his books, just to have a break. His gaze was lost on the books in the back shelves when he closed them, he didn’t feel himself fall asleep, but he did felt a hand on his hair, caressing them slowly, a light touch like the person didn’t want him to know.

It wasn’t a dream, he was sure of it, he was still in the library, could hear students pen writing on pepper, the page turning, the ventilation and the whisper of students between them, he could even feel the sun on his skin through the windows, but strangely he couldn’t open his eyes.

At first, he thought it was Taehyung, the younger could get affectionate sometimes and cuddles when he was in a bad mood.

But the hand wasn’t his, it was softer, more gentle, a hand he hadn’t seen since months now, the last time being when the person of his dream was hurt, but it couldn’t be him, he was still in the campus and wasn’t sleeping at all.

That’s why when he opens his eyes, to what seems hours later, the sky was dark and the library closing by the late hours.

He understood that he couldn’t run away forever from his own head.

 _It wasn’t real_ , he tells himself again hopping that he would believe his own words one day, _he wasn’t real._

Until he was.

It was two days after that, the sun was brightly shining in the sky, illuminating the city and warming their skin, but despite it Yoongi was feeling cold. He was walking through the campus with Taehyung by his side who seems too excited about the end year performance and Yoongi was half listening, too tired to answer properly, he hadn’t slept in what seems days, and would just take small nap here and there after taking his treatment that he had started again not finding another better solution.

The campus was full of people, it was lunch time and most of the students were eating in the small park in the open area. He wasn’t hungry, the treatment had cut his hunger completely, so much that all he had take since yesterday was a single coffee.

He had started to lose weight because of it, but he wouldn’t care less. Not when he had better things to take care for, like his mental state.

They were crossing the campus when it happened.

One moment he had his head down looking at where he was putting his feet on, the next, someone was stopping him by the arm and turning him around violently enough for him to lose balance for a second.

The stranger, who was bending down with his other hand on his knee trying to gain his breath, had a build of someone who could break him with a single blow, like a sport major or worst someone from the judo club, and for a second Yoongi feared to have anger someone and gained on or two punch. He wouldn't be surprised if it was the case...

He was lost, trying to prepare for a long apologize, panics bubbling in his chest too quickly for him to think straight, but then the stranger straighten up and face him.

The face was sharper than what he remembered, defined jaw and skin a little sun kissed like being constantly in a beach.

They were sweat rolling down his neck and disappearing under his collar, his hair were longer than last time, pushed away and showing his forehead, but with all the differences, Yoongi could see the same doe eyes, the same bunny smile, the same nose.

And the realization of who was standing in front of him, makes him tremble violently from head to toes.

Was it his imagination again, was he that sick to see him in daylight ? He was right, he knew he was a lost cause that would end his life with his medication but not like that...

Lost in his thaught, a part of him couldn't help but hope, just a little, enough for him to say his name out loud. But a whisper nonetheless, just for him to hear.

“Jungkookie…” the name was like a breath, a name he would called the younger when he will say something cute in his dream, a name he hadn’t pronounce since months now and that seems so sweet on his tongue.

But he said it so quietly, like fearing someone would hear him, fearing that someone, anyone will tell him again that “it’s not real, it’s in your head”

It was so strange, so hard to believe and for a second, he thinks that maybe he was in one of his dreams again like the library one, a lucid dream. That maybe he had fall asleep somewhere and was dreaming again, but then the boy… no, the man of his dream hold his arm tighter, hand sliding down to takes his hand in his like he had done so many time before in his dreams.

Making everything so more real, making him hope all over again and doubt of anyone who would tell him that the person in front of him wasn’t real.

Smiling so beautifully and shyly like the 3 years old boy he had met years ago, with doe eyes sparkling with happiness and whispering words that would stay in Yoongi heart forever.

“I finally find you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave a comment in the first chapter only !


	5. Jungkook

Jungkook had grew up with a boy by his side, their friendship was nothing common, they meet at night after falling asleep and would passes their dreams together.

In the beginning it was something normal for him, something he would draw, talk about with his best friend Jimin who would be amazed by it, something he was proud of when Jimin would pout saying that he wanted that to.

And Jungkook loved it, the boy had become his best friend even before he met Jimin, even before he knew what a best friend was, better, even before he knew how to talk.

The boy was a constant presence in his life, someone he would turn to, someone he would say anything, someone who will guide him through the maze that was growing up.

Like an older brother that was always there, one he could trust and love, and everything in between.

A person he was so used to have that when he disappeared, Jungkook was broken.

He was just 6 when Yoonie leave his dreams, crying waking up because Yoonie wasn’t there anymore, inconsolable and heartbroken because those arms hugging him weren’t Yoonie’s and he wanted his best friend there.

Jimin was the only one to understand, whispering that maybe Yoonie was in trouble and needed to be saved like in some superhero movies they had seen together.

Jimin wasn’t a liar, he might by a little crybaby, but Jimin would never lie to Kookie that’s why he believed him.

He just didn’t know it was really true.

When he found Yoonie in dreams again after weeks, the older was seating in the border of the ocean, tears flowing down his cheeks and falling in the ocean who seems to reflect his best friend emotion, he was so sad, crying hard, body trembling and ugly sob leaving his mouth that Kookie could see and hear so clearly that it makes him cry too.

For the first time, he couldn’t reach him even if he wanted to, Yoonie was alone in the cliff surrounded by the ocean of tears with nothing but the cliff he was to step one.

But at least Yoonie was there, safe and here, and for Kookie it was enough.

After that, Jungkookie see him every day, every single day, always alone, inaccessible, with the ocean, forest or mountain between them, the older always so far away that Jungkookie, being just a kid just couldn’t reach him, he would scream, cry out or even jump with his arm in the air, trying to reach him but Yoonie would never heard.

At some point he didn’t try anymore, just looking at the older was enough, sharing his tears and sadness, knowing that physically he was okay, had become enough.

Yoonie was always sad, crying alone, something he wouldn’t sob but his eyes would let silent tears fall, he become quieter too, loosing himself in thought that Jungkookie didn’t have access.

The older eyes always lost in the horizon, never really looking at anything, glassy and empty, and the sight would always be hard for Jungkookie who seeing his favorite person hurting start to mature before time.

He sees all of that until his 10th birthday when suddenly, they were in a meadow, like before, and Yoongi was looking at him, eyes straight in the younger one. It had happened before, Yoonie looking at him but not seeing him, like Jungkookie was invisible.

That’s why he didn’t hope, not even a second for Yoonie so see him ever again, but that day he said his name. In a whisper so low that Jungkookie wouldn’t have heard if he wasn’t always paying attention of his best friend every detail.

The moment Jungkookie eyes widen, he cries, running to Yoonie stretched arms. He cried so hard in the older hold, trying to disappear in the older body, feeling him, and enveloping himself with his best friend presence.

It was like a first meeting all over again.

And all of this, his dreams, the places they would meet, the talk they would have, he started to write them down, to not forget. A precious treasure that he didn’t want it to be lost in his memories.

He would tell everything to Jimin too, Jimin who believed him. Jimin who cried with him when he will tell him about his reunion with Yoonie.

Who being the older knew better than him, was more intelligent and could read better books, knowing where to search in old weird history books.

When Jimin was 15, he come to Jungkookie home, eyes wide and overexcited, waving an old book to Jungkook nose who couldn’t read half of the words written there because they were too complicated. The book was too old, yellow and with many ripped pages, smelling like the basement of their old house, rotten and strange.

“I found out what you and Yoongi are !! Kookie, look !”

He was pointing one of the pages, finger ghosting over a drawing of two people, it was just their figure, with lines that connect their heart, stomach and brain.

“It’s called soulmates, there’s so many myth and legends !! It’s amazing !” Jimin had been like an overexcited puppy, eyes bright with the book clutching to his heart, and Jungkookie couldn’t understand why the older was so happy about that.

“What is that ?”

“Soulmate are two pieces of the same soul, like basically you’re the same person but before coming to earth the soul broke for whatever reason, and you were born in two bodies, there’s a lot of legend that talk about it, it doesn’t happen a lot, two soulmate meeting again because it’s hard to find yours, there’s no sign at all to know who your soulmate is.”

Jimin was crying, eyes bright looking and Jungkookie like he had get the moon in his hands, maybe it was something amazing, but he just wanted his Yoonie back.

“I want that, it’s so beautiful, I want a soulmate too ! Jungkook you’re so lucky !!”

And Jungkook was, he was so lucky to have Yoonie just by his side, but having him as his soulmate, his other part, like his eomma and appa, he wanted that, he wanted Yoonie to know that too, he wanted to tell him himself.

“I want to see him and tell him.” He cries out, already heading to his bed to sleep and hopping to find him there.

“You can’t you're too young to travel ! Your appa would never!” it takes time for Jimin to understand that the younger wasn’t talking about a real meeting, but Jimin outburst makes Jungkookie eyes brighten in interest.

“I can find him! I need to!! Yoongi Hyung is sad now, he could be happier after seeing me, I want him to know that I’ll always be there for him!!”

And Jimin think hard, lips between his teeth to find an excuse, something to stop the younger in his impulse before sighing deeply.

“Okay but I’m coming with you, you have to found out where he live first, you can ask him in your dream.”

And Jungkook try, the same night and all the night after, he tried, but it was so rare when he could actually talk to his hyung that Jungkookie couldn’t ask him. Instead Jungkookie find himself being transported in some places, places that seems familiar to Yoonie, like his own room, his own street, sometimes, his favorite park, but it’s even rarer than talking to him.

It’s so rare, that every little information was precious, he started to make a side dairy where he would write all of the small detail, Jimin helping him to search them but never ending up with a city or town name.

“Maybe you should make yourself invisible in Yoongi dream? So he can show you.”

That’s why, slowly, Jungkook try not to influence their dreams, he erase his own desire and longing for his best friend, try to let himself engulf in the older presence, let Yoongi guide and show him his dreams.

And this way, where to find him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave a comment in the first chapter only !! ^^


	6. Chapter 6

He’s 16 when he read a station name for the first time with Yoongi in one of the seats, with the same sad expression than the last few years.

He’s 17, when he found the home where his best friend lives in, a small apartment between buildings with walls rift that doesn’t seem safe at all.

He’s 19 when he wakes up crying after feeling his Yoongi pain like his own.

In the last years, all of the dreams are blurry, the walls, the places, the streets, like in a way, Yoongi don’t want to be there, that he want to forget his life that keep following him in his dreams too. It’s harder to search in those condition, harder to read name and street and people face but not impossible.

In those years, Jungkook could feel the older distress, his anger and sadness that filled their dream with it, the younger would try to repressed his own desire every time, desire to show himself and just keep him close,

But he needed this, needed Yoongi hyung to show him his life, his world, his everything, that’s how he found himself tracing Daegu street with him more often, how with time he see a new side of his best friend who he was sure to know already.

Because his hyung wasn’t just sad, he was lonely to, lonely and alone in a world that seems to restrict itself around him. Jungkook could see how his best friend would cry only in the loneliness of his home without no one to see, afraid for anyone to look at him differently, but Jungkook was there, he had always been there, stopping himself to hug him, to show him how much he cared, how much he would never leave his side.

But the thing is, Jungkook wanted also to say how much he love him. Along the way, he didn’t know when or how, but the younger had fallen in love with his hyung, it wasn’t love at first side, or love that fall on your face like firework, it was the love that blossomed, a cherry tree that grow up slowly, with seasons and care, and show his flowers when it’s time for them to blossom.

But he knew how all he wanted was to protect him. Yoongi was a part of him since the beginning, even if the older would throw him away he would still stay by his side, because Jungkook doesn’t exist without him.

Saving up for his trip to Daegu is something he had started the same day he had decided to search for his hyung, he had saved every coin, every money his parents would give him in occasion, had started a job aside later when he could. He was in Uni when he had enough saving to go a trip to Daegu without caring about how much he would spend.

He had less time to sleep, because of his night shift and early classes, but it’s worth it, even if he doesn’t have a proper address yet, he would turn Daegu upside down if he needed to.

Until, one night, coming back from work people attack him, emptying his pocket and everything. He wasn’t weak, with years he had grown a certain build, but weak enough that fighting against 5 people left him completely bitten up, he had been angry, enough that going home he hadn’t let Jimin touch him until the younger bring up his dream “What if Yoongi hyung see you like that”

That night he makes sure to be alone in his dream, not wanting Yoongi to see him at all even if it was months now that they hadn’t seen each others, but Jungkook couldn’t control his dream completely, sometimes he could appear younger than he is or with an appearance a little different that the reality.

Like now completely beaten up like he hadn’t get home and Jimin hadn’t help him patch everything but he knew he had failed to hide when the next days, Yoongi isn’t in dream, nor in the next, or the next. Like he isn’t sleeping.

And the knowledge makes him afraid.

He tried a lot, for weeks to see Yoongi anywhere, to see him even for a second, to see that he was okay, and stop his worst thought to fill his head when every morning he would make up with nothing but empty dream.

Until one day, he appears again.

It’s not really a dream, the place is trembling, blurry and colors mixed like the older isn’t really sleeping, falling in and out of consciousness like fighting his sleep.

His head is between his arms, seated in what seems a library table. The younger eyes fall immediately in the books scattered around the older, reading a name that makes him sigh deeply before touching the older hair delicately.

The contact is hesitant, the first after what seems like an eternity, caressing them like he would always do, it’s short, too short for Jungkook who want to caress them longer, to feel the older presence closer, but he could feel Yoongi waking up anytime soon, pout forming and eyebrow frowning slightly.

For just a moment, he sees the boy he had fallen in love, they aren’t Jungkook and Yoongi anymore but two best friends, they’re Yoo and Koo again.

It’s a second, but it’s enough for him to fall in love all over again.

When he feel the older stir a little by his hand who hadn’t stop their caress, he leaned forward, lips caressing the older ear and whisper, slow enough for the older to ear even if he know they would be lost words again like many before.

“I’m coming hyung, wait for me.”

When he wake up, crying and happy, he doesn’t wait for Jimin to wake up, making a bag quickly with his clothes and things he would need for a trip, tears never stopping and heart beating so fast in his chest.

Jimin try to understand, still drowsy with all the commotion, following him with his eyes half lidded the younger who can’t stays till.

“What are you going?”

“I’m going to Daegu.” before storming out of his room. He doesn’t wait for Jimin who cry out to wait for him.

That’s how they take the train, silent and fidgety, Jimin checking the university name that Jungkook had read in the book last night, checking the student list where he finds him immediately.

“He’s name is Min Yoongi, he’s a psychology major… he’s pretty.” and Jungkook smile, of course he is, he’s Yoongi after all. And he was the prettiest but hearing it from Jimin makes him giddy, because it’s real, Yoongi isn’t just a dream sharer, he isn’t just words that Jungkook describe and talk about, he’s a picture too, a student, a person that Jimin can see now and would even meet soon.

It’s real. Everything is real.

When they arrived, taking a cab to the uni, he’s lost, waiting in front of the psychology building before deciding with Jimin to separate and looks around, he stop to every face, every person, every shadow that looks like Yoongi.

Passed half of the day around taking new from Jimin who hadn’t found anything too, until he’s there.

Just in the other side of the campus, leaving a building, arm full of books and walking toward him. He’s as pale as Jungkook remember if not more, with dark circle under his eyes, and this isn’t a dream.

Because Yoongi seems sadder, and less healthy, like in dreams he would try to appear better in case Jungkook was there.

But it’s his Yoongi and a the moment it’s all that matter.

And Jungkook doesn’t wait, eyes set on him and running as fast as the crowd let him, he run, heart beating so fast, and stomach flustering, tongue forgetting everything he wanted to say and just looking at him. He can feel his nervousness, it’s their first meeting after all, their first real one, and it’s real.

He want to hug him directly, to feel him back and maybe just get lost in the other presence, but all he do is take his arm, he’s so overwhelmed that it’s real, that it’s all fucking real that he can’t control his heart.

Can’t control how he feel like crying and laughing and dancing and everything at the same time.

But when he sees him, looks at him eyes in eyes, breath itching by the reality, Jungkook is frozen, eyes not leaving the older who seems as choked as his own.

Hearing his name in the older lips makes him tremble, makes his soul sing and shiver at the same time with all the emotion he’s trying to contain.

But he smiles, eyes wide looking at his catlike pretty one, burning his face in his mind because this time it’s real, it’s so fucking real.

“I finally found you.” He whispers, voice a little trembling, but he doesn’t care, hands itching to hug him. With only one words that keep trying to slip form his lips.

_I love you. You're not alone. I'm here now and it's real._


	7. Together

“Is it real?”

It’s the first thing that cross Yoongi lips after a long silence. He can’t stop looking at Jungkook, detail his face, his eyes, lips, nose and smile. Can’t help but looks at everything closely, like fearing that he would disappear soon.

The question is too heavy on his tongue, acid and burning in the back of his throat but a question that he needed an answer to.

“Are you real ?”

He can’t help but repeat not just for himself, trying still to wrap his mind around what was happening, but also for Jungkook.

His voice isn’t a whisper, it’s a plea, a prayer, asking to be hold and not be pushed away again. He’s asking for a hope.

A hope that he knows would be shattered the moment his illusion would disappear.

He hadn’t hope in so long that the feeling is foreign, bubbling inside his chest and making him fidgety.

Can he hope ? Can he even do that when it will hurt the moment his head will stop playing, when he would wake up again somewhere or worse turn to Taehyung pitiful eyes.

He doesn’t want to, but Yoongi try to sink his nail into that hope, just for a moment, because in the end it will hurt anyway.

But the vision is clear, maybe blurry with the tears that had gathered in his eyes, but clear enough to be different from his dreams. He try to not his tears fall, worried to passed for someone crazy again, crying when there was no one in front of him.

But… his vision smile, hand coming to takes his face so delicately, like fearing to be too brusque, like his vision… cares… and it hurt harder…

“I’m real, everything is real hyung, I’m here. I come all the way from Busan to see you, I’m real.”

And Yoongi cry letting the tears fall on his cheek, letting himself let go because it did feel real but he’s too afraid to be said otherwise, afraid to hear again the words he hated the most _“It’s not real”_

He fears to turn to Taehyung and see the words forming on his lips.

He cry because he can’t help it, there is too much in his head, sadness, fear, worry and despair. He’s so tired of this, of his life, of his imagination, of his head, of having to think every time if his eyes were betraying him of not, of having to think if everything was real or not.

Since years he’s in a spiral where he needed to keep his head under control, but looking at Jungkook it’s like everything doesn’t matter, that in the end... Jungkook was still there.

Does that mean he had he lost against himself?

Or was he going to the wrong direction all this time ?

Was he sick or just misunderstood?

He didn’t know, he’s lost and scared, so so scared.

And the feeling to be lost, to be on his own makes him shake, eyes wide looking at Jungkook who started to caress his cheeks and whipping his tears with his thumbs.

“Did I ever lie hyung, looks at me.” and Yoongi do looks at those beautiful eyes, bright like the night sky and holding their shared moment together.

“Trust me hyung, please trust me and I’ll prove you, it’s real, you aren’t sleeping.”

And he wanted to believe him, so much, but he doesn’t want to fall again, he doesn’t want to be hurt again.

Jungkook was supposed to be in his dream only, but then… he remembers seeing him when he was 11 in Busan when his nightmare started and …

Jungkook had said he had come from there.

“Busan ?” he ask hesitantly, body trying to be held by his friend.

“Yes, a friend come with me to help me.” He nods smiling.

“J... Jimin?” he knew Jimin, had heard a lot about the friend that Jungkook passed his days with, a friend the younger had wanted Yoongi to meet since forever.

“Yes, he’s here, with us. It’s real.” and Jungkook smile bunny teeth, tears in his eyes that makes Yoongi emotional again.

“It’s real... »

“It is.”

“You won’t disappear.”

“Never”

And Yoongi want to hug him, to snuggle close and just disappear in the younger hold and makes himself small for just a moment, he want to be the younger one and be held like a small child, want to feel his Kookie hand in his hair and close his eyes to just feel the caress.

And the younger know, hugging him at that moment close to his chest that isn’t the one of a child.

The contact is slow, a little hesitant. It’s their first real hug after all.

Jungkook body is warm, arm caging him in a tight but strangely grounded hold, and Yoongi feel safe. It’s not like in dream, where they would fall in each other arm like lost friend, it’s more like a new meeting, like discovering the other all over again, or coming back home after being abroad for an entire life.

It’s coming back after a long Journey.

At that moment their not Jungkook and Yoongi, they’re Koo and Yoo, the small boys from years ago, trying to understand the other, to discover the world, to help each other, to makes him smile, they’re young again, small kid learning about the world, curious eyes wandering in the worlds that is their dreams, wanting some warm and maybe a friendship.

They’re a little lost, a little shy, but they had the other to make them feel safe, they’re not alone.

Not anymore.

Because _he’s here... Jungkook is here._

And Yoongi cry harder body trying to melt with the younger one, nose in his neck breathing in his scent that is so different from their dreams but so suited. Sob leaving his throat that he can’t control but want to, afraid to be told that he was crazy again, or weak, or not normal…

“It’s okay hyung, let it out, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. I’ll stay by you side now.”

He can hear Jungkook sniffle and tightening his hold around him, and it’s real.

They stay like that a long moment, nose in each other neck and crying in each other arms for a long time. Yoongi arm are tightly around the younger shoulder, broad and the one of a men, he had lost a lot of time, hadn’t seen his best friend grow up, but he hope, that now time won’t betray them.

When they moved again, eyes and nose red, the older a little ashamed for his outburst because he was supposed to be the older one, but Jungkook smile whipping their tears one by one.

Not caring, just here, real.

“Let’s go hyung we need to talk, let go to your home.”

And Yoongi panicked shaking his head because he can’t bring Jungkook in his decrepit home, can’t show this side of himself yet, Jungkook don’t need to know that this soon.

But Jungkook know why and don’t say anything looking at Yoongi turn behind to his friend who’s too pale, eyes wide and damp, nodding and searching with trembling hands in his back bag for his keys.

“Yoongi, I’m…”

“Not know… Please…” the older whisper, eyes not meeting Taehyung pleading one who bit his lower lips, nodding before giving him his apartment key.

There a lot of thing to be cleared, apologize to be made, things to understand, regret to be forgiven but not now, all Yoongi want is to be somewhere else, where no one would see them, no one to be afraid of.

When he takes his Kookie hands in his, it's full of new feelings, bubbly and light and bright. Warming his body with a new beginning.

The way to Taehyung apartment is quit, Yoongi eyes refusing to leave the younger, who keeps him close, their hand never leaving each other’s. They take a cab, Yoongi looking at Jungkook sending a text to Jimin that the younger makes him read.

“See ? It’s real, we couldn’t do that in our dream.”

When they arrives to the apartment Yoongi is unsure all the way up, unsure of what to say, what to do, he started to believe it’s real because they never get in a cab before too, never in his dream the world was so clear either, never was it so … real…

So when he open the apartment door, see Jungkook enter, he don’t know what to do, let the younger takes his hands and goes to the couch.

“Let’s sleep, I want to prove you it’s real.”

They needed to talk, a lot. Jungkook to show the book, needed Yoongi to understand how and why they had met in the first place, needed to tell him one day about his feeling for the older that had just grow the moment he had seen him again.

And Yoongi needed to talk too, about the pills, about his sad life and sad everything, there was a lot to say.

But mostly, Yoongi had years of fear and doubt and uncertainty to fight against, years of unwanted feelings and mistrust to recover from.

But they had time now and they had each other.

“I’m not going anywhere now hyung, I promise.”

When they lie down Yoongi couldn’t help but stay closer, arm coming to hug the younger wrist, who takes him in his arm too, enveloping his bigger body around him.

And Yoongi even if he knew he won’t dream about Jungkook because of the pills, stays quiet about it fearing to see the disappointment in the younger eyes.

But Jungkook takes his chin between his finger, delicately kissing his forehead and making Yoongi closed his eyes by the warmness that spread in his body.

“Trust me hyung, let’s meet in dream.”

When he opens his eyes again, they were under their tree in the meadow, the place hadn’t change in years, green and full of flower out of sight.

Ang Jungkook was there, smiling, with the same cloths they had falling asleep, taking Yoongi in a hug the moment he started crying.

“See, it was real, and it will be now. I’m not going anywhere, I promise, I’ll stay by your side no matter what, I’ll prove it every day that it’s real. You don’t have to fear anything, I’m here, I’ll protect you.”

And he believed him, crying in the younger shoulder, tightening his hold when Jungkook laugh to the older misery.

“I’m sorry…” Yoongi whisper to the younger lost eyes.

Sorry to have doubt you.

Sorry to have leaved you behind.

Sorry to haven’t fight for us.

Sorry for every tears you must have let fall because of me.

“Hyung, I’m here now.”

And Yoongi smile, in the same gummy smile that Jungkook loved, kissing the older forehead like Yoongi had done to him when they were kids.

And it was enough for now, they had time to heal, time to talk, time to share.

Because now they were together even in reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave a comment in the first chapter only, thank you !! ^^


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